Fear has always been an object in my life. I can’t really think of a time when fear didn’t control my life. The object I always carry around….that object would be worry. Fear. Stress. Its something I live with on a daily basis. How do we get past this? Because IM slightly terrified that I will always worry, no matter what time of the day. Wait til Im a mother….dear lord, what will happen then. Here are just a few fears that I have:
1) Losing someone close to me.
Doesn’t everyone worry about this. I couldn’t imagine losing one of my parents. One of my siblings. Even when my dogs go, I will cry my eyes out. I constantly have this fear that one day I will get a call and someone will be gone. I would probably die from a heart break. I would collapse and sob uncontrollably.
2) Looking over my shoulder constantly for someone.
I have good reasons. I wasn’t always like this. It something that terrifies me every time I am walking by myself. Someone running up behind me and grabbing me. Dragging me into an alley. Robbing me. Irrational. I know.
3) Finding someone in my backseat.
I must always look in my back seat when I start driving. That way no one will knock me out or hold me at gun point.
4) That I won’t make my parents proud.
Irrational yet again. But definitely a fear.
5) Finding cockroaches in my room when I wake up.
I hate roaches. I hate bugs in general.
6) That my kids will have a disability when they are born.
I will accept them no matter what though.
Fears control me everyday. Everyone has them. The thoughts that creep into our minds when we are going to sleep at night. When we are by ourselves and driving. Even when talking to someone. I control my fears. I keep them at ease but in all reality, they control my life.