Gosh Darnit. The world doesnt need to know.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “A Mystery Wrapped in an Enigma.”

There are many things many people do not know about me. As an introvert, that’s usually how my life plays out. I dont advertise my life on social media. I don’t go around and brag about my accomplishments. Im not set on the ways of telling you absolutely everything about my life. Its just not what I do. But if you insist, I will give you 10 items. Only 10. Nothing  more. Upsetting? Maybe. Mysterious? Most definitely. Surprising? In most cases, yes.

1) Its not that I dont like hugs. I actually love hugs. But the idea of unwanted touch is something that makes me cringe. Makes me jumpy. Without the courage to say stop laughing at the fact that I don’t like to be touched, I can only picture it. I was sexually assaulted. Not once. But twice. That is no joking matter.

2) The human body works in mysterious ways. My mind and body feed off of stress but hates the idea of anxiety. I often get anxiety attacks. Its a horrible feeling quiet frankly. I love being busy. I don’t mind stress but unwanted stress is not my friend.

3) I always think “What if” no matter how happy I am.

4) The people I love the most….are the ones who cause the most stress in my life. These are the people that make me see a psychiatrist every few years.

5) I am the most indecisive person you will ever meet.

6) I was scared of commitment for a long time. But then he asked my dad for my hand in marriage. Ive never wanted commitment so much in my life………..since he broke everything off with me, Ive never wanted it to as much as I do now.

7) Im 23 and still a virgin. Its not that I cant find the right person. Its finding the right time. Right person. Right everything.

8) I fell in love with a former boss who might have loved me back. This is never a good idea.

9) I’ve wished I was kid again more times that I can count.

10) My biggest fear is that I will get some incurable disease and die alone with leaving nothing more than dust and bones.

These are the things that most no one’s knows about. Make that one more.

11) I come off as really depressing but in reality, I am content with my life. Im just a deep thinker.

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