Hell-evator

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “1984.”

You asked what my biggest fear would be if it was visible in a room. Not sure you would see it. My fear isnt an object. My fear would be nothing. This room would be empty. No spiders. No bears. Nothing scary. Nothing to feel or hear or touch.

My biggest fear. Anxiety taking my world away. My anxiety strips everything from me. No one  knows I have anxiety. The world seems to think my world is perfect. Smiles. Life. Friends. But deep inside, I have anxiety times a million. Sometimes so bad, it makes me physically sick. Sometimes I try to avoid admitting to myself that I actually have it so Ill go to the doctors to see if they can diagnose my recent sickness but in reality, I know its the fear. Fear that won that night. Fear that took over.

This controls my life. My fear is that my anxeity will always control my life. Itll stop me from getting married. From having kids. From getting a new job. From doing what I love. Because Im constantly terrified of what will happen.

Im constantly on a hellevator that doenst stop. Im not fearless. My life is consumed by fear.

Everyday. Every hour. I never know who will win the next time. Me. or my anxeity.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Hell-evator

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s