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So we’re talking again. It’s strange isn’t it? After all the harsh words. After all the rash decisions. It’s odd I think. I didn’t think we’d be this far at such a short amount of time. Even after loving you for 5 years. And immediately ending it for no reason. I didn’t think I’d forgive you this fast. Didn’t think I’d want to hear your voice practically every day again.

Almost seems like nothing happened. Should I question it or should I just go with the flow? Should I think twice?

Is it bad for me to just want to skip the whole friends part? The whole part about talking and trying to be normal again. The part where we pretend we don’t still love each other? Can we just skip all of that and go back to where we were before. Skip right to the proposal and the settling down and making a life? Can we get back to our futures and me not being mad all the time?

I think I need to see someone. Anger management. Anxiety and depression. I think I need help. I think I might just need real love.

I cant remember the last time I was happy.

So please tell me this. If youre reading this……what do I do?

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